Life is a process.

I tried to keep a lot of things inside , tried to refrain myself not to write this.......but i'm just a human. 
I burst sometimes into tears. 

what the heck did i feel? 

i feel something i dont wanna feel, but i know Allah is testing me. 
I miss those days when i didnt feel anything espc emotion things,
and not wanting any wrong thing. 
I know this is a process , and it shall pass, and one day i wouldnt want what i want today.
and i wont feel this heavy or sad anymore. it will get BETTER!!!
twitter seems to public, nobody ever visit blog anymore. 
so yeah here I am, pouring those sadness here. 
i'm disconnecting from anything that made me sad, i keep building space to myself, watching HIMYM and some Mufti Menk's talk on youtube in order to get better. Hopefully to be better rather than watching people's life. i always a positive one but that was when i didnt pick emotion in me, haha better said than done. When there is a lil bit emotion in me, i kenot handle this worldly stuff. I'm stronger when there's no emotion involve. life is lighter, easier, simple and just about myself. didnt need to consider what other's have done cuz what i will only care is i'm happy with myself. so January you may take all the sadness and emotion u want and by the time february arrive there's no more room for sadness. Thank you. 

i'm not demotivated person, but that's what i felt lately. yea its a process right?
as a human we are not always gonna be happy, life is like a wheel.  

u'll get better fee. insya Allah. Hasbunallahu wa ni'mal wakeel.