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“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. -Helen Keller”

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Ramadhan.

Alhamdulillah its Ramadhan .
I thought my phase slow down sikit after submission, tapi busy dia memang overloaded. Life is not getting easier especially in works. I can do my works, tapi load tu 50:50 boleh tanggung. Indeed Allah knows how hard to carry all those responsibilities. My shoulder terlalu kecik untuk tampung.

Nak rant dekat siapa , orang semua tak paham. they see i'm capable. I still need guidance , i'm assisting not leading. Two hands two legs and one brain . Bila time deadline superior nak chase their things, seriously only Allah knows my feeling deep inside. Tak sangka dunia kerja ni banyak air mata dah tumpah sebab terlalu stress and always feel tak capable. kayuh lah sorang2 untuk buat benda ni semua. I'm tired of walking in my own shoes, seriously. Sampai satu point which i dont care of working in my professional field, i always see makcik tea lady tu lagi hapy buat kerja, ikhlas, senyum2 without kena pikir deadline, kena pikir quotation x balik2, rate tak build up or harga tinggi sangat etc. If people ask me i'm physically and emotionally not capable of handling tender alone, nak kick off meeting alone or nak answer tender adjudication depan bosses. But I have to face all those thing and the strenght cuma datang dari Allah. Kalau takda Allah , tak de agama mungkin i'm insane dy.

I know it not just me alone as a QS yang face benda ni, nab and bibi pun having the same. I pity myself and us sebab terpaksa work like this. I'm tired of walking in my shoes. Weekends pikir pasal kerja, buat kerja non-stop. one after another. semoga apa yang ktorg sacrifice ni dikira jihad. Its not money and fame that i care about, tapi time, ketenangan and happiness lebih priority sekarang.

I wish my Master dream that i will realized soon they wont kacau and stop me. I need a break from all of this. Rabbi yassir wala tuassir rabbi tamim bi kheir.

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