random thought again

i want to write a lot. i wanna say and share so many things. i have a lot of time but i am so lazy tho. hehee sory for tht. will try to slowly update. just a random writing. this one is not ranting but just something in mind and heart :) oh yea, helo malaysia! its good to be home but yet i still have to plan what i want to do. 4months holiday is note a joke. very long one! every holiday also have to face this. --' . go work la fee. yea i want , but i'm not interested to work like in mcD or any fastfood places. choosy ? noooo . its just that not that close to my house and the time is not my favourite. ehehe :p i wanna really spent my June and July for EURO. i've been waiting for so long to support them ! yes I do! July would be fasting month, the month that i plan to again collect all good deeds as i'm home. insya Allah. August : raya and raya photo shoot with my good frens and september would be going back to Uni starting my 3rd year in school. i wish lecturer would be willing to open special semester as i have 4 core subject that i cant take cuz i'm doing my exchange. hmmmm.... that's all my academic update. talking about life.... i really have this one dream an to realize it at one place. I wanna go, but i have to wait like 2 years or more to have this. Yes afraid i cant make it, but my heart eagerly want to make it to come true. for no reason i have that kind of dream. weird weird fee. as a weak human, sometimes i feel empty inside, i think i missed all my roomates, goodfrens and etc. Sometimes i try imagine, how would i be if i end up my life kawin early ? :O . No at this moment, cuz as long as my dream x tertunai, i wont . I'm always keep remind myself i'm a small child to my parents. always =) . i dont want them to think their daughter is big now, i dont want cuz i cant imagine the grow up thingy. Bukan childish or ke kanak-kanakkan , it just that i am so comfortable living like this and loving or give commitment to "somebody" is the scariest future that i have to face later. Play with people heart is not my thing. whatever coming ahead, let me catch my dream first :) may Allah bless me to have it. amin.